The strange calls began a few weeks ago.
I was puttering around the house one day, trying to look busy as a storm raged outside, when all of a sudden my pants started playing Christmas carols. Searching for the source of the sudden burst of holiday music I reached into my pocket and pulled out my cell phone. Sure enough, a classic version of “Deck the Halls” was playing from the speaker and “No Caller ID” blinked across the screen, signalling an incoming call.
“Hello?” I said suspiciously, cautious of potential telemarketers.
A faint, childlike voice with a thick Nordic accent answered back on the other end.
“Ah yes guud, is dees da Keptain Jarsh Temple?”
“Ah yes guud, my name is Alabaster und ve haf been lukeing fer yew. Vell it seems like yew are da keptain wiff da feeshing out uff da tewn uff Tofino. Und ve wood like ta book un feeshing trip wiff yew in Decemburr.”